For the past few weeks we have been telling Lily that once her latest pacifier (pash, as she calls it) got a hole in it that she would have to give it up. Today, was that fateful day. I got an email from my mom that said the last pash has a hole. That she warned Lily, but she wasn't going to be the bad guy. Tom and I stopped at the toy store on the way home from work. We picked up some new playdoh, new markers, and new paint (the markers and paint are Color Wonder, we aren't that nuts). When we got home we asked about the pash, and she had already thrown it away (on her own). We gave her the gift, and she loved it. She even looked over at me, mid-sculpting, and said, "Mama, thank you for the present" (cue heart melting).
She has done a pretty good job, but getting her to bed is the real challenge. So far...that has been a slow process.
The last pash for Lily is a little bittersweet. It seems odd, but it is one of her last links to baby-hood. I remember her struggling to keep the pash in her mouth for the first months of her life. Then, the nights when she lost the pash and cried until someone fumbled around in the dark and replaced it. The first time she did this task herself. The first time she called it a pash (and the term stuck). I remember all of those things. How she would light up when we gave it to her (ok, it was like a drug for her...). How it was really her only comfort item. Tonight will be tough for her. But we all know it's time. So one more little piece of baby Lily is gone... and that makes me sad. But I am loving watching her grow. I love watching her spread those little wings, and take those little steps into childhood. She is still tenuously balancing a line between the toddler she is and the little girl she is becoming. I am so privileged to watch her grow. It is hard to say goodbye to those baby days, but seeing her embrace life, and be curious, and share her wonder of the world...these things are priceless to me (and I still have my baby Jack for those baby snuggles!).
So, Lily, my little Bean, I am excited to play playdoh with you. To color with your new markers. To paint with your new colors. I am excited to watch you become a big girl. Just, you know, don't try to grow up too quickly. Let's savor these kid days together.