Thursday, June 21, 2012

On Turning 1

Yesterday, my little Lily Bean turned 1. I wanted to write a post about her turning 1, but I couldn't figure out what to say or how to say it. How can you write a whole year in one little post? Particularly since it's been such an incredibly amazing year. What a beautiful little 1-year-old I have. She is funny, smart, curious, and fun. I could go on and on about how wonderfully amazing she is, but I won't. I will say that this year I have grown as a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and person.

I became a mom on June 20, 2011. What an experience. Learning to raise this little life into a productive human being. Watching this helpless newborn become a babbling, crawling toddler. Worrying, worrying, and worrying a little more. Listening to the baby monitor at night to make sure she's breathing...then creeping into her room to watch her sleep (that sounds a bit creepy). Waiting for her to hit a milestone, then getting to the milestone and feeling an overwhelming sense of pride and joy when it happens. Being a mom absolutely fulfills my life. It completes who I am. I am so lucky that Lily is my daughter. I am grateful everyday that she made me a mom.

I have grown as a wife. I have watched Tom become an amazing daddy to Lily. Watched him hug her and kiss her and love her. I feel in love even more with him when Lily was born. It is incredible to find the person you were meant to love for a lifetime. It is beautiful to create a family with that person. I am so very lucky.

I think the most surprising thing that happened, is my growth as a daughter. I mean, I pretty much got that down pat right? I have been living in that role for the longest amount of time. However, once you have your own child, you realize, instantly, the love your parent has for you. What an overwhelming experience! Realizing that someone loves you THAT much. I always knew (and know) that my parents loved me, but now I know just how deep that love is. It is something so strong, so solid, so unbreakable.

For the sister thing...I have watched my brother love my daughter. He makes faces at her, holds her like she's a bomb (well, I think he has finally gotten over that), and talks with her. He is also her godfather, which is a very special bond that they can share. I love my brother so much.

Finally, I have definitely grown as a person. I think it's all really covered above, but I have become a better person, I think, for everything that has happened this year. I think being a mother has made me better. I really do.

What an incredible year. What an amazing journey. I cannot wait to see what the next months and years bring. Here's to you my little Bean. I love you and can't wait to watch you grow!

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