Thursday, April 11, 2013

Lions and tigers and bows, oh my!

WARNING! If you love those huge flower/bow headbands that you put on your newborn the minute she excited the womb...the post is not for you. Proceed with extreme caution.

I am not entirely sure why I decided to write a whole post dedicated to baby hair accessories. No, wait, I do know why. It's because my daughter has decided that NOTHING can touch her hair. No clip, no matter how stealthy I try to be in putting it in, stands a chance. Is it so wrong to want your daughter to wear a little bow? I think not.

This is not what I want to write about, though. I want to write about this:

HELP! THE FLOWER IS EATING ME!

Yes, I want to write about how ridiculous I think bows that are bigger than a baby's head are. I know, I know a whole blog post dedicated to ginormous bows is silly, but this is my blog, so get over it. These bows really bother me. They get under my skin. I want to look at the parents of this child and say, "really? would YOU wear that?" Probably not. I mean, first of all, that flower. It's huge. It is actually taking over the baby's cuteness. I can't even look at the chubby baby. All I see is that damn flower sticking out there like a sore thumb. Second, does this baby even have hair? I mean, I thought headbands were supposed to keep hair out of your face. No hair, no need for huge, head eating headband.

I blame this phenomenon (or, phenomenot (too much?)) on the Duggars. Yes, the Duggars. Have you seen pictures of Josie (the youngest member of the clan)? She always has a bow on her head!

Please, people. Not necessary. Double whammy- bow plus bling.

Even when she was in the hospital-- bow! At home-- bow!

Step away from the bow.
Sometimes, they even put fake hair on her to make her look more...girly?

What is even going on here?
Really, people? REALLY? Fake hair? Let your baby be a baby. My daughter was mistaken for a boy for months (despite her all pink ensembles), but I didn't mind because, frankly, if you strip babies down to nakedness (well, with diapers on, you can tell gender pretty easily if they are donning a birthday suit) you can't tell the boys from the girls. Unless the girls are sporting fake hair.

Bad decision Brit.

I am sure there are moms out there who are furiously mad at me right now. How dare you blast my daughter and her huge flowers and bows?!? Pretty easily, actually. These moms did it, too: go here. In all honesty, stick with the little cute flowers and bows. Ones that allow me to look at your cute baby, and not the monstrosity on her head. I want to see the chub beneath it, not the super-fake flower on top.

Yep, that's Lily. Cute bow and all. Take that sucker off and BAM! she could have been a boy. Sorry, Lily, it's true. You had no hair until after you reached the age of 1.

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